Paleo Pasta

Okay, it's not really pasta. It's spaghetti squash, and it's magical. I like it with butter and spinach, but it's REALLY good with some marinara sauce, ground beef, and spinach. The best part is you can make a ton it so you don't have to cook for like four days (as long as you are okay with eating the same thing every meal for four days).


Ingrediants

• 1-2 medium spaghetti squash (or one giant one)
• 2 pounds ground beef
• 2 jars of marinara sauce (whichever variation you prefer...read the list of ingredients though because some add sugar and what not)
• One bag of frozen spinach

There are a ton of ways to make spaghetti squash. Here's one. I like to stick mine in the oven for about an hour at 250 degrees. It's easier to cut open after it's been cooked. After you cut it in half scoop out the icky looking stuff and then take a fork and scoop out the rest.

Brown the beef, sauté the spinach, and add the marinara sauce. That's it. You're done. Enjoy four cooking free days. 

Poor, paleo(ish), and delicious

I work at a local gym, which is nice because my coworkers all eat pretty clean so I don't have to worry about turning down donuts every day. (I say pretty clean, because my coworker sat at the front desk yesterday and ate an entire box of sour gummy worms.)

But we still have cravings. I told my coworker, Melissa, yesterday that all I wanted was a brownie but didn't want to ruin the clean streak I was on. She came this morning with a batch of "clean" brownies and the recipe she made them with.

Granted if you have eaten a regular brownie in the past, like, month, you probably won't enjoy these as much as I did.

Ingredients:

• 1/3 cup coconut flour
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa flour
• 1/3 cup coconut oil
• 5 whole eggs
• 1/2 cup Grade B maple syrup
• 1 scoop vanilla protein powder (we like SFH)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven, 350 F

2. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the coconut flour, cocoa and protein powder

3. Whisk in the coconut oil, eggs and maple syrup; blend well

4. Pour batter into greased dish (7x11) and bake; 20-25 minutes

5. Allow to cool. This is important they tend to fall apart easily when warm

6. Makes 15 servings

And the most amazing part....the macros.

Calories: 107

Protein: 4 grams

Carbs: 7 grams

Fats: 7 grams

On the Road Again

One of the hardest things about being paleo(ish) is eating healthy when I'm not at home. 

This weekend I'm so excited to be going on a weekend service trip through Mizzou Alternative Breaks. We get to volunteer at the Ripley County Fairgrounds preforming maintenance work that would otherwise go undone. I'm so excited for the opportunity, but it presents itself with a teeny tiny obstacle. 

How do you eat healthy, remain flexible, and still have fun? 

My answer- Lower your standards a bit. 

I am by no means intending to go crazy and binge on fast food and processed sugars (mostly because I would feel crappy the whole weekend and be completely intolerable), but I also don't want to be the girl creating problems for other people because of my own preferences. 

So here is what I do. I always buy enough a handful of protein bars before every trip. I prefer Quest bars because they have a 20 grams of protein, 18 grams of fiber, and only 3 net carbs. You can get them individually at Hyvee or in bulk on Amazon. 

I also buy some gluten free bread. I try to avoid gluten free bread for the most part because I cannot be trusted. I think it's fine in moderation, but I have never been one for moderation. I'm kind of an all or nothing kind of gal. But it is really handy when traveling a group because you can rap a jar of natural peanut butter (Smuckers Natural is my favorite) and you have a quick easy snack/meal that is at least better than stopping at a fast food place. 

But here is the most important thing. When in Rome you eat the pasta. I always have to remind myself not to rob myself of an experience because I'm trying to be healthy. Sometime the cookie is worth it, particularly when you are on a once in a lifetime trip. 

Now I doubt Doniphan, Missouri is going to be life changing, but embracing moments are important, and if that means eating a cookie I think I will live. 

Paleo(ish) on the Go Go

One of the most important things when attempting to stick to a paleo diet is food prep. Having food ready before you get desperately hungry and eat whatever is available. While I understand the importance of food prep, I rarely have time for it, and when I do I have no place to store my meals during the day. So here is how I do paleo on the go:

Chipotle: It gets a bad rap sometimes because could easily consume your entire recommended caloric intake, but if you know what to get you could actually get a pretty healthy meal. I get brown rice, double chicken (about 75% they don't charge you extra for it), hot salsa, and guacamole.

Ingredient: They changed their menu recently, but I still build my own salad. It's the easiest way to avoid all the cheese. I get spinach, chicken (yeah, it's extra here too, and they always charge you), sliced almonds, avocado and red onions with almond champagne vinaigrette (I have no idea what that is, but it's delicious).

Kaldis: Do you know why I love Kaldis? Because they have an unwrapped breakfast burrito, and it is delicious. Their egg white unwrapped breakfast burrito has egg whites, spinach, and sweet potatoes.

Lucky's Market: Lucky's is the bomb. It has lots and lots of paleo(ish) options from chicken breast to chicken curry salad. My favorite is the kale slaw. It will change your life.

The best thing about these four options is they are all within a mile of campus!

Being Paleo According to Parks and Rec

I finally emotionally prepared myself to watch the final season of Parks and Rec, and I'm sorry to report no amount of emotional preparation could have made Leslie's final farewell any easier (mostly kidding). So in honor of the TV magic that Parks and Rec made for the last 7 seasons here are 8 gifs that describe what exactly it is to be Paleo(ish).

The first time somebody told you about the Paleo diet and you were like

Mostly because you thought you couldn't have good things like bacon and butter...but then you found out you totally can

So you decided to give it a try, but for the first two weeks all you wanted was bread, or dairy, or anything that wasn't healthy

But you got through those first two weeks like a champ, and you know what you feel pretty awesome

The best part is you are actually encouraged to eat more food, which is great because you are like always hungry

You try to get your roommate to go Paleo but she's all

Mostly because you finally convinced her to try kale and she still frequently brings up the time you betrayed her trust with a vegetable

But ya know somedays you need a cheat day, and that's okay because a life without ice cream is just not a life worth living

Making it up as I go along

I have decided I hate it when you have to scroll to the bottom of the page to find the ingredients for a recipe so I will now stop putting the ingredient list at the bottom of my blogs.

Ingredients

8 burger patties

1 bunch of lettuce

1 sweet potato

A whole lot of brussels sprouts (I don't really know how many)

As much bacon as you like

Some coconut oil (or olive oil works too)

The gym where I worked celebrated their fifth anniversary on Saturday. Yay CSC! What's even better than five great years is free food!! We had a ton of extra brussels sprouts and burgers that had already been defrosted...meaning they had to be cooked in the next 45 minutes. 

Outdoor grilling is forbidden at my apartment. Wooden stairs and large flames have been deemed hazardous. So I really didn't know what I was going to do with 8 burgers, but when free food is offered Anna always accepts. 

I ended up throwing them in the oven because every time I try to cook burgers on the stove I end up setting off the fire alarms. While those were cooking I started chopping up sweet potatoes. At first I tried to imitate this recipe, but it was difficult and tedious so I just sliced them with my mandolin. Much easier. After sautéing them in coconut oil I started in on the bacon and brussels sprouts. 

The brussels sprouts were already cooked so I just had to heat them up. I went ahead and put them in the pan with the bacon because bacon makes brussels sprouts taste better. A lot better. 

The finished product was delightful! A bacon, sweet potato, lettuce wrap with brussels sprouts on the side.

Yay for free food and improvisation! 

But You're Not Fat...

So I have explained a little bit about what I eat and how I eat it, but I haven't really explained why (and to be honest I could use a reminder myself). 

An easy answer to why I avoid processed sugars, gluten, and dairy (for the most part) would be that I want to look good, but that wouldn't be entirely true. Eating healthy, for me, is about treating my body with respect. It's not about a number on a scale or on the tag of my jeans, it's about putting good things into my body. 

But I'm not a slave to diet and exercise. I'm also 21 and if I want to eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's half baked on a Saturday night while watching Parks and Rec then I'm going to eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's half baked on a Saturday night while watching Park and Rec, damn it

. It's about finding a balance between enjoying life and treating yourself right. For me, I eat healthy 90% of the time so that I can eat that pint of Ben and Jerry's or that entire Shakespeare's Pizza without guilt. 

It doesn't mean saying yes all the time though. I say no more often times than not. Often times after I decline ice cream or tell my friend I have to go to bed because I have an early workout in the morning, they will say something to the effect of "Why? You're not fat!" but that's not the point. 

If my paramount concern in life was whether or not I was skinny I would be wasting my life. In the words of the great J.K. Rowling "Is "fat" really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', or 'cruel'. Not to me." 

So in short I eat healthy because I love myself. It sounds corny, but my choice to eat kale for breakfast is because I respect my body and what it needs to thrive. But by loving myself I allow myself the freedom to eat cake at my brother's wedding and wine at Christmas. And most of all I try to improve the things that actually reflect on what really makes me me. My character. I try to be happy, make other people happy, and respect other people because, at the end of the day, nobody is going to care what size jeans I wear. 

Very Poor and Paleo(ish)

About once a month this thing happens. The thing that happens is my ATM receipts start showing single digits and it usually happens about 5-10 days before pay day.

Before I ate paleo I would subsist on ramen noodles and peanut butter until pay day. Now things are a little more complicated, but still possible.

So here is what I do when I can't fill my gas tank all the way, and I'm a month late on utilities.

1. Eggs. I have said before and I will say it again. Learn to like eggs. Eggs are full of protein and (BONUS) they are cheap.
2. Chicken. Right now even the least lean ground beaf is almost $5 a pound. FIVE DOLLARS A POUND! Ain't nobody got money for that. Pork is another option, but even that's out of my price range right now. Ground turkey would be the cheapest, but after an unfortunate bout of the stomach flu, I can no longer handle ground turkey. So chicken! Get the cheapest cut. It's usually bone-in thighs. If you 'em up and bake them for about 20 minutes at 400 it actually tastes really good. 
3. Pick a vegetable, any vegetable! This where variety becomes a luxury I cannot afford. So I pick a vegetable and eat a lot of it. My vegetable of choice is broccoli. Always broccoli. 

So this week I have eaten 2 dozen eggs, 7 chicken breasts, and 3 pounds of broccoli. Thank god it's almost pay day. 

Paleo(ish) Pizza

There are paleo replacements for just about everything. You want pasta? Spaghetti squash. You want mashed potatoes? Mashed cauliflower (put enough garlic in it and you can't even tell the difference). You want pizza? Well your screwed. There is no paleo substitute for pizza. There is something about the bread and the cheese that make pizza irreplaceable, but alas we try nonetheless.

On Valentines day my baby sister (by baby, I mean 16) and I decided to celebrate how we always do. Zombie movies, and what goes better with zombie movies than pizza.

So here is my go to recipe for satisfying the pizza craving.

Ingredients:

2 lbs of ground chicken
Tomato sauce
Half a chopped onion
Chopped green peppers
Small container of feta cheese
Nitrate free pepperoni (I always buy the Applewood Farms kind)


This is probably the grossest part of the whole thing, particularly if you don't like touching raw meat (guilty). Take the 2 pounds of ground chicken and flatten it out so it looks like a crust.

Bake the crust at 400 degrees for about 20(ish) minutes.

Once the crust is baked go nuts and add your toppings!

Put it back into the oven for another 15-20 minutes and enjoy!

This pizza pairs well with Zombie movies.

Five Kitchen Tools That Will Change Your Life

I don't really classify myself as a who enjoys cooking. I like eating, and eating requires cooking. I also never thought I would be one of those people who swears by a blender, but, alas, I am.

So here are 5 kitchen tools that have changed my life.

1. Ninja food processor- I got mine for about $40 at Walmart, and have never regretted it. I use it to make smoothies, pesto, tomato sauce. You name this thing can probably blend it. This model also has a little mini blender. It's just as powerful as the large pitcher container, but fits in my dishwasher a lot easier.

2. Mandolin- Not be confused with the musical instrument, this utensil cuts things crazy thin. It's really useful for making salads (see this post where I use it to make a killer kale salad), or even sweet potato chips.

3. Electronic Chopper- Seriously go get one. You're eyes will never tear as you cut onions ever again. I got mine at Walmart, but they have the same model on Amazon.

4. Slow Cooker- This one seems like no brainer, but I hear so many college kids complaining about how little time they have to cook, yet don't own a slow cooker. THESE THINGS COOK YOUR FOOD FOR YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP! This is the adult equivalent to magic! And there are so many to choose from! Do it!

5. Waffle Maker- My mom got me a waffle maker the Christmas after I moved out, and I have never used a gift more. I use it for everything. Eggs, sweet potatoes (if you haven't caught on yet, I really like sweet potatoes), I have even quesadillas in it. Here is a link to a link to a book explaining the hidden potential of your waffle maker written by my professor's former colleague, if you still need convincing.

Procrastination, historical documents, and smoothies

Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please! I have discovered the best fix for a chocolate/sweets craving ever.

I was victim to a sale on Ben and Jerry's at Hy-Vee yesterday. I told myself that it was my reward for cooking the chili that I blogged about yesterday, and I swore I would only eat half. Well, before the beef had even browned the entire pint of Ben and Jerry's half baked was gone. I could pretend that the spoonful my roommate ate contributed to it's quick disappearance, but that would be just as unhealthy as the ice cream.

(*Side note I regret absolutely nothing. This is why I am paleo(ish). Because ice cream is delicious and sometimes it's worth it to just blow it all and eat a whole pint in one sitting...or standing because I didn't even make it to the table)

But now I have had a taste. I want more ice cream. I need more ice cream. But I know I'll regret eating TWO pints in one 24 hour period. I do not eat dairy often enough for my stomach to handle that much frozen goodness in that short of a time span.

That said, I still wanted something frozen and sweet. I was also tired of reading my History of Journalism reading. All of the s's look like f's. It's very frustrating.

So if you every find yourself frustrated and craving sweets follow my lead and make this delicious smoothy.

What you'll need:

• Nutri Dyne Dynamic Fruits and Greens (I used about a scoop and a half of the gluten free expresso flavored one. It has 20+ servings of vegetables in each serving.)
• 2(ish) spoon full of peanut butter (I used Smucker's All Natural Chunky)
• 4-5 ice cubes depending on how thick you like your smoothies
• 1/4 (ish) cups of Almond Milk

I threw all the ingredients in a my mini-ninja blender and within about 30 seconds my chocolate/sugar/ice cream craving was satisfied. 

Procrastination for the win. 

Lazy Sweet Potato Chili

As I write this it is 74 degrees outside and sunny...definitely not typical chili weather. Nonetheless chili is what I made today.

This particular recipe is a staple in my diet. It's spicy and delicious and cooks in a slow cooker. I used this recipe as a template, but deviate from it slightly. I don't use carrots and I don't measure out my seasoning, which is probably why mine tastes different every time. 

What's particularly great about this recipe is you can get pretty lazy with it. I buy pre-chopped onion (because, really, who enjoys chopping onions), pre-peeled garlic and dice it in my electronic chopper (if you don't have one, get one. These little contraptions are life changing. This one is only $14 at Walmart), and a package of chili powder. Careful when you buying packaged seasoning though. A lot of times there is added sugar. 

I imagine this would be a great family dinner. Being the single college student that I am I just eat it every meal for about 4 days so I don't have to cook again for awhile. 

So here's what you need:

• 2.5 lbs of ground beef
• 3 large sweet potatoes
• A handful of garlic cloves (4-6) minced
• One red onion chopped (or a 16 oz container of pre-chopped red onion from the grocery story)
• 2 cups (ish) of beef stock
• 1 large 30-40oz can of tomato sauce
• 1 can of petite diced tomatoes
• 1/2 cup (or one package) of chili powder
• 2 bay leaves
• Some thyme (here is where my cooking becomes less than precise) 
• Some Red Pepper
• Some Cumin
• Some Cayenne Pepper

Your going to brown the ground beef in a large skillet with the minced garlic and the chopped onion. While that's on the stove, peel your sweet potatoes and chop them in to 1(ish) inch cubes. Dump the sweet potatoes in the slow cooker or crock pot with the beef stock, tomato sauce, and petite tomatoes. Once the beef is nice and brown dump that in too. Now just add all the spices and the bay leaves, put the lid on, turn the slow cooker on low, and find something to do for 8 hours while you wait for this magical meal. 

(If you can appreciate an awkward British comedy, I suggest killing a couple of those hours with I Give it a Year, and if you're not, I suggest watching it anyway. It's on Netflix and the trailer is below. Enjoy!)

UPDATE: It could take more or less 8 hours in the crockpot. Last time I cooked this it tasted perfect at 8 hours. This time it looks pretty close to perfect at 6, so keep an eye on it. 

Copy Cat Lucky's Kale Cole Slaw

Last semester when I wanted a break from Chipotle or Jimmy John's I would go Lucky's deli and get  a giant container of their kale cole slaw. I would then proceed to sit in the parking lot in my car and eat the entire container so I decided to try and make it myself.

I found this recipe on Pinterest. I used it as an outline, although it's not exactly like what they have at Lucky's. I also didn't make any dressing.

Ingredients:

5 or 6 pieces of Turkey Bacon
A bag of kale
8 large brussel sprouts
A couple handfuls of parmesan cheese (I'm paleoish and a little bit of parmesan never hurt anybody)
A couple handfuls of sliced almonds

*I hardly ever use measuring cups when I cook so this is as precise as it gets.

Then I chopped up all the kale. For the brussel sprouts I used a mandolin to get them as thin as possible. However, whatever chops brussel sprouts will also chop your finger so unless you like taking pieces out of your fingers, keep them away from the blade.

The bacon I baked in the oven at 400 for 20 minutes, chopped it up and put it in with the kale.

While I was chopping everything up I put 4 large chicken breasts in the oven at 450 degrees. Before I put it in the oven though I put about a teaspoon of olive oil and grated Rachel Ray's italian seasoning all over it. It's my favorite, but I can only find it in Hyvee in Columbia.

And ta-da dinner!!

When in doubt- eggs

This is probably the most frugal paleo meal I have put together, especially because I got the eggs on sale for $.99 and I got money off my fuel saver.

Although overall I'm terrible at checking circulars, I do check Hyvee's because they have this amazing thing called a fuel saver and sometimes they do this other amazing thing where they mark down items AND buying those items saves you on gas at Hyvee gas station. Trust me kids, this is as good as it gets as an adult.

Anyway, Hyvee had a sale on eggs, so naturally I bought 5 dozen. So for the next week most of my meals will have an egg component.

Tonight's dinner consisted of 5 eggs (about $.46), a sweet potato, and a quarter cup quinoa. I can't tell you how much the sweet potato and quinoa cost because, honestly, I bought the quinoa 6 months ago and I'm just hoping it's one of those things that never goes bad, and the sweet potato I found in the very back of our pantry.

First frugal paleo meal done. Fingers crossed I don't get sick.